Assalamu Alaikum.
Mere husband job ki wajah se abroad rehte hain aur bachchon ki poori zimmedari mere upar hai. Aaj kal mere dono bachche bahut jaldi angry ho jate hain, zid karte hain aur meri baat bhi kam maante hain. Mujhe fikr hai ke kahin un ki deeni tarbiyat aur akhlaaq mutasir na ho jayein. Main pyar ke sath un ki behtareen tarbiyat kaise karun?
Rehnumai Meri pyari behen... Sab se pehle yeh baat yaad rakhiye ke aap akeli nahin hain. Duniya bhar mein hazaron maaein isi surat-e-haal ka samna kar rahi hain. Jo maa apne bachchon ke deen aur akhlaaq ki fikr karti hai, woh Allah ke nazdeek ek bahut badi zimmedari ada kar rahi hoti hai.
Agar aap ke bachchon ke behaviour mein change aaya hai, to zaroori nahin ke woh badtameez ho gaye hon. Aksar bachche apni feelings ko alfaaz mein bayan nahin kar paate. Woh jo kami mehsoos karte hain, woh kabhi gusse, kabhi zid aur kabhi bad behaviour ki shakal mein nazar aati hai.
Ek Misal Jab kisi pauday ko ek jagah se doosri jagah lagaya jata hai, to kuch din us ke patte murjha jate hain. Is ka matlab yeh nahin hota ke pauda kharab ho gaya. Usay sirf thodi zyada dekhbhal ki zarurat hoti hai.
Bilkul isi tarah, jab bachcha apne father se door rehta hai, to usay pehle se zyada love, attention aur emotional support ki zarurat hoti hai.
Ab kya karein? 1. Gusse ke waqt behas na karein.
Jab bachcha angry ho, us waqt usay samjhana ya daantna aksar faydah nahin deta. Pehle usay calm hone dijiye, phir pyar se baat kijiye.
2. Roz thoda Quality Time dijiye.
Har roz kam az kam 15–20 minutes sirf bachchon ke liye rakhiye. Is waqt mobile aur doosre kaam side par rakh dijiye. Sirf un ki baat suniye.
3. Father ka rabta mazboot rakhiye.
Agar mumkin ho to roz ya hafte mein chand martaba video call karwaiye. Father sirf haal-chaal na poochhein, balki un ki Salah, Qur'an aur achhi aadaton ki bhi tareef karein.
4. Achhe kaam ki tareef kijiye.
Har waqt ghalti pakadne ke bajaye jab bhi bachcha koi achha kaam kare, foran us ki tareef kijiye. Appreciation bachche ke confidence ko barhati hai.
5. Dua aur sabr ko kabhi na chhodiye.
Tarbiyat ek din ka kaam nahin hai. Aaj ki mehnat ka natijah kabhi kabhi mahino baad nazar aata hai. Is liye jaldi mayoos na hon aur Allah se madad maangti rahen. Meri pyari behen, yaad rakhiye, bachchon ko sirf khana, kapra aur taleem nahin chahiye hoti, unhein yeh ehsas bhi chahiye hota hai ke "Meri maa mujhe samajhti hai aur mujh se mohabbat karti hai." Jab yeh ehsas mazboot ho jata hai, to tarbiyat ka safar bhi aasan hone lagta hai.
Aaj Ki Parenting Tip "Bachcha jab gusse mein ho, us ki ghalti se pehle us ke jazbaat ko samajhne ki koshish kijiye."
Action Today Aaj sirf 15 minutes ke liye apna mobile side par rakh kar apne bachche ke sath baithiye. Us ki baat baghair toke poori tawajjuh se suniye.

Mera 12 saal ka beta Hafiz-e-Qur’an ka student hai. Alhamdulillah padhai mein achha hai aur Deen ki samajh bhi rakhta hai, lekin use bahut jaldi gussa aa jata hai. Samjhane par apni baat ko sahi sabit karne ke liye behas karta hai. Main us ke gusse, chirchirapan aur baat karne ke andaaz ko kaise behtar banaun?
Rehnumai Meri pyari behen!
Sab se pehle Allah Ta‘ala ka shukr ada kijiye ke aap ka beta Hafiz-e-Qur’an hai, padhai mein achha hai aur Deen ki samajh bhi rakhta hai. Is ka matlab hai ke us ki buniyad mazboot hai. Ab zarurat us ki personality ko sahi direction dene ki hai.
Aap ki baaton se lagta hai ke asal masla badtameezi se zyada anger control aur apni baat manwane ki aadat hai. Baarah saal ki umar mein bachcha teenage ki taraf badh raha hota hai. Is stage par woh chahta hai ke us ki baat suni jaye aur us ki opinion ko importance mile.
Ek Misal Ek taqatwar ghoda agar trained ho to sawar ko manzil tak pahuncha deta hai, lekin agar usay direction na mile to wahi taqat nuksan ka sabab ban sakti hai. Isi tarah intelligent aur strong personality wale bachche ko dabane ki nahin, balki adab, sabr aur self-control sikhane ki zarurat hoti hai.
Kya Karein? 1. Gusse ke waqt samjhana band kar dijiye.
Jab woh angry ho, us waqt behas ya lecture na dein. Sirf itna kahiye:
“Beta, abhi tum gusse mein ho. Hum is baat par baad mein calmly baat karenge.”
Jab woh normal ho jaye, tab short aur clear baat kijiye.
2. Har behas ka jawab dena zaroori nahin.
Kabhi kahiye:
“Main ne tumhari baat sun li hai. Hum is par baad mein sochenge.”
Is se bachche ko lagega ke us ki baat suni gayi, lekin har decision us ki marzi se nahin hoga.
3. Ghar ka ek clear rule banaiye.
Sab ke liye rule ho:
“Hum apni baat kahenge, lekin loud voice, disrespect aur insulting words ke baghair.” Yeh rule sirf bachche par nahin, ghar ke sab afrad par apply hona chahiye.
4. Achhe behaviour ko foran notice kijiye.
Jab woh gussa control kare ya adab se baat kare to kahin:
“Aaj tum ne disagreement ke bawajood apni voice control ki. Yeh maturity hai.” Specific appreciation achhe behaviour ko mazboot karti hai.
5. Us ki energy ko positive direction dijiye.
Exercise, outdoor games, cycling, masjid ki service ya ghar ki chhoti responsibility us ke mood aur behaviour mein balance la sakti hai.
6. Hafiz hone ko taana na banaiye.
Yeh na kahiye:
“Tum Hafiz ho kar bhi aisa karte ho?”
Is ke bajaye kahiye:
“Allah ne tumhare seene mein Qur’an rakha hai. Ab Qur’an ka sabr aur adab bhi tumhari personality mein nazar aana chahiye.”
7. Usay gusse ka simple plan sikhaiye.
Normal mood mein teen steps tay kar lijiye:

• Foran jawab nahin dena
• Jagah change karna
• Wuzu karke baad mein baat karna

Rasulullah ﷺ ne farmaya: “Asal taqatwar woh hai jo gusse ke waqt apne aap par qaboo rakhe.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)

Aap ka beta zaroori nahin ke bigad raha ho. Woh us stage mein hai jahan us ki personality tezi se ban rahi hai. Usay mohabbat ke sath firmness, freedom ke sath responsibility aur correction ke sath appreciation dijiye. In sha Allah us ki intelligence aur strong personality aage chal kar us ki sab se badi strength ban sakti hai.
🌼 Aaj Ki Parenting Tip “Strong personality wale bachche ko dabaiye nahin; use adab, self-control aur sahi direction sikhaiye.”
Action Today Aaj us ke calm mood mein 10 minutes baithiye. Pehle us ki do achhi qualities batayiye, phir mil kar gussa control karne ke teen steps tay kijiye.

Ek Maa Ka Sawal
Mera 10 saal ka beta chhoti chhoti baaton par bahut jaldi gussa ho jata hai. Agar us ki baat na maani jaye to cheekhne lagta hai, cheezen phenk deta hai aur kabhi kabhi behan bhaiyon se bhi badtameezi karta hai. Gusse ke waqt woh hamari koi baat sunne ke liye tayyar nahin hota. Hum pyar se bhi samjha chuke hain aur kabhi sakhti bhi ki, lekin koi khaas farq nahin pada. Main us ka gussa kaise kam karun?
Rehnumai Meri pyari behen!
Sab se pehle yeh samajhna zaroori hai ke har gussa badtameezi ki alamat nahin hota. Aksar bachcha apne andar ke jazbaat ko alfaaz mein bayan nahin kar pata, is liye woh gusse ke zariye apni baat samjhane ki koshish karta hai. Kabhi usay tawajjuh ki zarurat hoti hai, kabhi thakan hoti hai, kabhi us ki baat nahin suni jati aur kabhi woh ghar ka mahaul dekh kar bhi gussa karna seekh leta hai.
Yaad rakhiye, bachcha gussa lekar paida nahin hota, balki gussa karne ka tareeqah apne environment se seekhta hai.

Allah Ta'ala muttaqeen ki sifat bayan karte hue farmate hain:
"Aur woh log jo gusse ko pee jate hain aur logon ko maaf kar dete hain. Allah nek logon se muhabbat karta hai."
(Surah Aal-e-Imran: 134)

Rasulullah ﷺ ne farmaya:
"Asal taqatwar woh nahin jo kushti mein doosre ko gira de, balki woh hai jo gusse ke waqt apne aap par qaboo rakhe."
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)

Ek Misal Agar chulhe par rakha hua doodh ubalna shuru ho jaye aur us waqt aag aur tez kar di jaye to doodh bahar gir jata hai. Lekin agar aag halki kar di jaye to wahi doodh aaram se pak jata hai.
Bilkul isi tarah bachche ka gussa bhi hai. Agar us ke gusse ka jawab gusse se diya jaye to masla badhta hai, lekin agar walidain sabr aur hikmat se kaam lein to dheere dheere us ka mizaj badalne lagta hai.

Kya Karein? 1. Gusse ke waqt lecture na dijiye: Jab bachcha gusse mein ho, us waqt usay samjhana ya behas karna faydemand nahin hota. Pehle usay calm hone dijiye, phir pyar se baat kijiye.
2. Us ke jazbaat bhi suniye: Kabhi sirf itna pooch lijiye: "Beta, tum itna gussa kyun hue?" Jab bachcha mehsoos karta hai ke meri baat suni ja rahi hai, to us ka gussa dheere dheere kam hone lagta hai.
3. Achhe behaviour ki tareef kijiye: Agar woh kisi din apna gussa control kar le ya narmi se baat kare to foran us ki tareef kijiye. Appreciation achhi aadaton ko mazboot banati hai.
4. Ghar ka ek rule bana dijiye: Sab ke liye ek usool ho: "Hum apni baat kahenge, lekin cheekh kar nahin." Yeh rule sirf bachche ke liye nahin, walidain ke liye bhi hona chahiye.
5. Roz us ke sath Quality Time guzariye: Har roz kam az kam 15 minutes sirf us ke liye rakhiye. Mobile side par rakh kar us se baat kijiye, us ke sath kheliye ya us ki baatein suniye.
6. Us ki energy ko positive direction dijiye: Games, exercise, cycling, swimming ya kisi physical activity ka intezam kijiye. Bahut se bachchon ka gussa sirf is liye badhta hai kyun ke un ki energy sahi jagah istemal nahin hoti.
7. Routine ko munazzam banaiye: Sone, khane aur screen time ka regular schedule banaiye. Be-tarteebi bhi bachchon ko chirchira bana deti hai.

Kin Ghaltiyon Se Bachiye?

• Gusse mein bachche par cheekhna.
• Har waqt us ki ghaltiyan hi nikalna.
• Us ka doosre bachchon se muqabla karna.
• Gusse ke waqt lambi taqreer shuru kar dena.
• Har baar us ka gussa mobile ya gift de kar khatam karna.

Yeh tareeqe masla kam nahin karte, balkeh kabhi kabhi aur mazboot kar dete hain.

Meri pyari behen! Gussa aag ki tarah hai. Agar shuru mein hikmat, mohabbat aur sabr se usay control kar liya jaye to wahi bachcha mustaqbil mein bahut ba-waqar aur ba-akhlaq insaan ban sakta hai. Is liye bachche ke gusse ko sirf problem na samjhiye, balki us ki tarbiyat ka ek aham mauqa samjhiye.
In sha Allah aap ki mohabbat, dua aur musalsal hikmat us ki shakhsiyat mein khoobsurat tabdeeli la sakti hai.

🌼 Aaj Ki Parenting Tip "Bachche ke gusse ka jawab gusse se nahin, balki sabr aur hikmat se dijiye."

Action Today Aaj jab aap ka bachcha pur-sukoon mood mein ho, us se sirf 10 minutes baith kar baat kijiye aur us se poochhiye: "Beta, jab tumhein gussa aata hai to us waqt tumhare dil mein kya chal raha hota hai?" Bas us ki baat tawajjuh se suniye, beech mein mat tokiye.

Ek Maa Ka Sawal
Meri 8 saal ki beti har baat par zid karti hai. Agar us ki pasand ki cheez na mile ya us ki baat na maani jaye to rona shuru kar deti hai, naraz ho jati hai aur apni baat manwa kar hi dam leti hai. Kabhi hum pyar se samjhate hain aur kabhi ghar ka mahaul kharab na ho is liye majbooran us ki baat maan lete hain. Mujhe dar hai ke kahin yeh zid us ki aadat na ban jaye. Main us ki zid kaise khatam karun?

Rehnumai Meri pyari behen!
Sab se pehle yeh samajhiye ke har bachcha kabhi na kabhi zid karta hai. Zid bachpan ka ek hissa hai, lekin agar har baar bachche ki zid ke aage walidain jhuk jayein to dheere dheere bachcha yeh seekh leta hai ke "Rona, cheekhna aur zid karna meri baat manwane ka tareeqah hai."
Is liye asal masla bachche ki zid nahin, balkeh hamara us zid par reaction hota hai.

Ek Misal Sochiye ek bachcha har roz darwaze ki ghanti bajata hai. Agar das martaba ghanti bajane ke baad darwaza khul jaye, to agle din woh phir das martaba ghanti bajayega. Kyun? Kyun ke usay yaqeen ho chuka hai ke itni der zid karne ke baad darwaza zaroor khulta hai.
Bilkul isi tarah, jab bachcha baar baar zid karta hai aur aakhir mein us ki baat maan li jati hai, to usay lagta hai ke zid kaam karti hai.

Kya Karein? 1. Har zid poori na kijiye: Sirf wahi baat maaniye jo waqai munasib ho. Har demand poori karna mohabbat nahin, balkeh ghalat aadat ko mazboot karna hai.
2. Faisla badalne ki aadat chhor dijiye: Agar aap ne kisi baat par "nahin" keh diya hai, to sirf rone ya cheekhne ki wajah se apna faisla na badliye. Bachcha isi consistency se seekhta hai.
3. Do jaiz choices dijiye: Seedha "nahin" kehne ke bajaye kabhi yun kahiye: "Chocolate abhi nahin milegi, lekin tum apple ya banana mein se ek choose kar sakti ho." Is se bachche ko choice ka ehsas bhi hota hai aur zid bhi kam hoti hai.
4. Zid ke waqt kam boliye: Jab bachcha ro raha ho ya cheekh raha ho, us waqt lambi explanation na dijiye. Sirf short aur calm jawab dijiye: "Main samajhti hun tumhein yeh cheez pasand hai, lekin abhi yeh mumkin nahin."
5. Zid ke baghair baat maane to foran tareef kijiye: Jab woh kisi din bina zid ke baat maan le to usay zaroor appreciate kijiye: "Mujhe bahut khushi hui ke aaj tum ne samajhdari dikhayi." Yahi tareef dheere dheere us ki achhi aadat banayegi.
6. Maa aur walid ek hi faisla karein: Agar maa mana kare aur walid foran ijazat de dein, to bachcha jaldi samajh jata hai ke kis se apni baat manwani hai. Tarbiyat mein dono ka ek jaisa mawqif bahut zaroori hai.

Allah Ta'ala farmate hain:
"Aur apne ghar walon ko namaz ka hukm do aur khud bhi us par sabit qadam raho."
(Surah Taha: 132)

Is ayat se hamein yeh sabaq milta hai ke tarbiyat mein istiqamat (consistency) bahut aham hai.

Meri pyari behen! Zid ko sirf buri aadat samajh kar gussa na kijiye. Isay bachche ko sabr, qana'at aur intezar sikhane ka mauqa banaiye. Aaj agar woh har baat foran milne ki aadat chhor dega, to kal zindagi ki mushkilon ka muqabla bhi zyada himmat se karega, In sha Allah.

🌼 Aaj Ki Parenting Tip "Har baar zid ke aage jhukna bachche ko yeh sikhata hai ke zid se har baat manwai ja sakti hai."

Action Today Aaj apne bachche ko kisi ek chhoti baat mein do jaiz choices dijiye aur agar woh zid kare to pyar aur sukoon ke sath apne faisle par qaim rahiye.

Ek Maa Ka Sawal
Mera 13 saal ka beta padhai mein achha hai aur samajhdar bhi hai. Lekin agar hum use kisi baat par samjhayen to woh foran behas shuru kar deta hai. Har baat mein apni daleel deta hai aur yahi sabit karne ki koshish karta hai ke wohi sahi hai. Kabhi kabhi teachers se bhi behas kar leta hai. Mujhe dar hai ke yeh aadat us ki personality ko nuqsan na pahuncha de. Main us ki is aadat ko kaise badlun?

Rehnumai Meri pyari behen!
Sab se pehle pareshan hone ke bajaye apne bete ko samajhne ki koshish kijiye. Is umar mein bachche apni soch aur apni pehchan banana shuru karte hain. Woh sirf hukm sunna nahin chahte, balki yeh bhi chahte hain ke un ki baat suni jaye.
Yeh quality agar adab ke sath ho to bachcha mustaqbil mein achha leader, speaker ya da'i ban sakta hai. Lekin agar usay narmi, tawazu aur dusron ki baat sunna na sikhaya jaye to wahi quality behas aur takabbur mein badal sakti hai.

Ek Misal Darya ka pani jab apne kinaron ke andar behta hai to kheton ko hara bhara kar deta hai. Lekin jab woh kinare tod deta hai to tabahi macha deta hai.
Isi tarah daleel dene ki salahiyat bhi ek ne'mat hai. Agar us ke sath adab aur khud par qaboo ho to yeh badi taqat ban jati hai, aur agar na ho to rishton ko nuqsan pahuncha deti hai.

Rasulullah ﷺ ne farmaya:
"Jo shakhs haq par hone ke bawajood jhagra chhor de, us ke liye Jannat ke kinare mein ek ghar ki zimmedari hai."
(Sunan Abi Dawud)

Kya Karein? 1. Pehle us ki baat mukammal suniye: Kabhi kabhi bachcha sirf is liye behas karta hai kyun ke usay lagta hai ke meri baat koi sunta hi nahin.
2. Agar us ki baat durust ho to qabool kijiye: Is se usay insaf ka ehsas hoga aur woh aap ki baat bhi zyada aasani se qabool karega.
3. Behas aur guftagu ka farq samjhaiye: Use batayiye ke apni raye dena achhi baat hai, lekin har baat ko jeetna zaroori nahin hota.
4. Ghar mein adab ke sath ikhtilaf ka mahaul banaiye: Agar walidain bhi narmi se apna ikhtilaf bayan karenge to bachcha bhi wahi tareeqah seekhega.
5. Gusse ke waqt discussion band kar dijiye: Jab awaaz buland hone lage to kahiye: "Hum is baat par baad mein sukoon se baat karenge." Calm hone ke baad hi usay samjhaiye.
6. Tawazu ki tareef kijiye: Jab woh kisi ki baat maan le ya apni ghalti tasleem kare to foran us ki tareef kijiye. Is tarah usay samajh aayega ke asal kamyabi har behas jeetna nahin, balki achha akhlaq hai.

Meri pyari behen! Yaad rakhiye, aap ka beta sirf behas karna nahin seekh raha, balki apni soch ka izhar karna seekh raha hai. Aap ka kaam us ki awaaz ko dabana nahin, balki usay adab, hikmat aur tawazu ke sath istemal karna sikhana hai. Agar aaj usay yeh hunar aa gaya to In sha Allah woh kal logon ko mutasir karne wala nahin, balki un ke dil jeetne wala insaan banega.

🌼 Aaj Ki Parenting Tip "Apni baat kehna hunar hai, lekin dusron ki baat sunna us se bhi bada hunar hai."

Action Today Aaj apne bete ke sath 10 minutes baithiye aur us se kahiye: "Main tumhari baat poori tawajjuh se sunna chahti hun." Pehle us ki baat suniye, phir apni baat narmi se samjhaiye.

Ek Maa Ka Sawal
Mera 11 saal ka beta zara si baat par bahut gussa ho jata hai. Agar us ki marzi ke mutabiq kaam na ho to cheekhne lagta hai, gusse mein cheezen phenk deta hai, darwaza zor se band karta hai aur kabhi kabhi kamre mein ja kar khud ko band kar leta hai. Baad mein use apni ghalti ka ehsas bhi hota hai, lekin phir wahi rawayya dobara nazar aata hai. Main us ki is aadat ko kaise badlun?

Rehnumai Meri pyari behen!
Sab se pehle yeh samajhiye ke aap ka beta sirf gussa nahin kar raha, balki use apne jazbaat ko theek tareeqe se zahir karna nahin aata. Jab bachcha udaasi, mayoosi ya narazgi ko alfaaz mein bayan nahin kar pata to kabhi cheekh kar, kabhi cheezen phenk kar aur kabhi darwaza patakh kar apna gussa nikalta hai.
Yeh rawayya agar waqt par na badla jaye to dheere dheere us ki personality ka hissa ban sakta hai. Lekin achhi baat yeh hai ke is umar mein bachche ko Emotional Control sikhaya ja sakta hai.

Ek Misal Sochiye, agar pressure cooker ki bhaap ke liye rasta na ho to andar dabao barhta rehta hai aur aakhirkar zor se nikalta hai. Lekin jab us ki steam theek tareeqe se nikalti rahe to cooker bhi mehfooz rehta hai.
Bachchon ke jazbaat bhi kuch isi tarah hote hain. Unhein gussa karne se nahin, balki gusse ko sahi tareeqe se zahir karna sikhane ki zarurat hoti hai.

Allah Ta'ala farmate hain:
"Rahman ke bande woh hain jo zameen par narmi se chalte hain aur jab jahil un se sakht baat karein to woh salamati ki baat karte hain."
(Surah Al-Furqan: 63)

Aur Rasulullah ﷺ ne farmaya:
"Asal taqatwar woh hai jo gusse ke waqt apne aap par qaboo rakhe."
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)

Kya Karein? 1. Gusse ke waqt us se behas na kijiye: Jab bachcha cheekh raha ho to us waqt usay samjhana faydemand nahin hota. Pehle usay sukoon hasil karne ka mauqa dijiye.
2. Baad mein us ke jazbaat samajhiye: Jab woh normal ho jaye to pyar se poochhiye: "Beta, us waqt tumhein sab se zyada kis baat par gussa aaya tha?" Is se bachcha apne jazbaat ko alfaaz dena seekhega.
3. Ghar ke rules pehle se tay kar dijiye: Pyar se samjha dijiye ke gussa aa sakta hai, lekin: cheekhna nahin, cheezen phenkna nahin, darwaza patakhna nahin. Ghar ke rules sab ke liye barabar hon.
4. Gusse ka halal tareeqah sikhaiye: Usay batayiye ke jab gussa aaye to: kuch der khamosh ho jaye, paani piye, wuzu kare, ya dus minute ke liye alag baith jaye. Yeh kamzori nahin, balkeh maturity hai.
5. Chhoti kamyabi ki bhi tareef kijiye: Agar kisi din us ne gussa control kar liya ya cheekhne ke bajaye khamoshi ikhtiyar ki to foran us ki tareef kijiye. Isi se naye behaviour ko taqat milti hai.
6. Apna rawayya bhi dekhte rahiye: Bachche sirf baatein nahin, walidain ka andaaz bhi seekhte hain. Agar ghar mein masail sukoon aur narmi se hal honge to bachcha bhi dheere dheere wahi tareeqah ikhtiyar karega.

Meri pyari behen! Aap ka beta bura bachcha nahin hai. Woh abhi apne jazbaat ko sambhalna seekh raha hai. Aaj agar aap use gusse ko dabana nahin, balki usay sahi tareeqe se sambhalna sikha dein, to In sha Allah woh mustaqbil mein mushkil halaat mein bhi pur-sukoon aur ba-waqar insaan banega.

🌼 Aaj Ki Parenting Tip "Bachche ko yeh mat sikhaiye ke gussa kabhi na aaye; use yeh sikhaiye ke gussa aaye to us ka izhar kaise kiya jaye."

Action Today Aaj apne bete ke sath baith kar mil kar "Gusse ke 3 Rules" likhiye. Misal ke taur par: (1) Cheekhna nahin, (2) Cheezen nahin phenkni, (3) Gussa aaye to paani peena ya wuzu karna. Phir is list ko us ke kamre mein laga dijiye.

Ek Maa Ka Sawal
Mera 9 saal ka beta hamari baat sunne ke bajaye aksar apni marzi karta hai. Namaz, padhai, sone aur rozmarrah ke kaamon ke liye use baar baar yaad dilana padta hai. Kabhi pyar se samjhate hain aur kabhi daant bhi dete hain, lekin zyada farq mehsoos nahin hota. Main chahti hun ke mera beta khushi se walidain ki baat maanne wala aur ba-adab bane. Main kya karun?

Rehnumai Meri pyari behen!
Har walidain ki yahi khwahish hoti hai ke un ki aulaad farmanbardar ho. Lekin yaad rakhiye, farmanbardari sirf daant ya saza se paida nahin hoti, balki mohabbat, achhe ta'alluq aur musalsal tarbiyat se paida hoti hai.
Jis bachche ka dil apne walidain ke qareeb hota hai, woh un ki baat bhi zyada khushi se maanta hai. Is liye sirf yeh mat dekhiye ke bachcha baat nahin maan raha, balki yeh bhi dekhiye ke hamara us se rishta kaisa hai.

Ek Misal Jab koi coach apni team ko training deta hai to woh har roz aik hi bunyadi skills ki practice karwata hai. Woh har ghalti par cheekhta nahin, balkeh baar baar sahi tareeqah dikhata hai. Isi musalsal practice ki wajah se khiladi behtar bante hain.
Bachchon ki tarbiyat bhi isi tarah hoti hai. Ek do martaba keh dene se aadat nahin banti, balki pyar, sabr aur istiqamat se dheere dheere banti hai.

Allah Ta'ala farmate hain:
"Ae Iman walon! Apne aap ko aur apne ghar walon ko us aag se bachao jis ka indhan insaan aur pathar hain."
(Surah At-Tahrim: 6)

Rasulullah ﷺ ne farmaya:
"Tum mein se har shakhs zimmedar hai aur har shakhs se us ki zimmedari ke bare mein poochha jayega."
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)

Kya Karein? 1. Ek waqt mein ek hi hidayat dijiye: Agar aap ek saath kai baatein kahengi to bachcha uljhan ka shikar ho sakta hai. Chhoti aur wazeh hidayat zyada asar karti hai.
2. Hukm dene ke bajaye connection banaiye: Kabhi us ke paas baith kar pyar se kahiye: "Beta, mujhe tum par bharosa hai. Mujhe yaqeen hai tum meri baat maan loge." Yeh alfaaz aksar daant se zyada asar karte hain.
3. Pehli martaba baat maanne par tareef kijiye: Jab woh foran baat maan le to us ki honsla afzai zaroor kijiye: "Mujhe tumhari yeh aadat bahut achhi lagi ke tum ne ek hi baar mein baat maan li."
4. Ghar ka routine sab ke liye ek jaisa rakhiye: Namaz, padhai, sone aur screen time ke auqat pehle se tay hon. Jab qawaid sab par barabar lagu hote hain to bachcha unhein aasani se qabool karta hai.
5. Baar baar yaad dilane ki aadat kam kijiye: Har do minute baad pukarne ke bajaye ek hidayat dijiye, phir dekh lijiye ke us ne amal kiya ya nahin. Is se bachcha zimmedari lena seekhta hai.
6. Khud bhi wahi kijiye jo us se chahte hain: Agar walidain ek doosre ka ehtram karenge, waade nibhayenge aur ghar ke qawaid ki pabandi karenge to bachcha bhi wahi rawayya ikhtiyar karega.

Meri pyari behen! Yaad rakhiye, farmanbardari ek din mein paida nahin hoti. Har roz ki chhoti chhoti aadatein mil kar bachche ka kirdar banati hain.
Aaj aap ka sabr, dua aur husn-e-akhlaq hi kal us ki behtareen shakhsiyat ki bunyad banega, In sha Allah.

🌼 Aaj Ki Parenting Tip "Bachcha pehle walidain se muhabbat karna seekhta hai, phir un ki baat maanna seekhta hai."

Action Today Aaj kisi ek kaam ke liye apne bete ko sirf ek martaba narmi se hidayat dijiye. Jab woh us par amal kare to foran us ki tareef kijiye aur usay mehsoos karaiye ke farmanbardari qadr ki baat hai.

Ek Maa Ka Sawal
Mera 12 saal ka beta pehle bahut adab se baat karta tha, lekin ab zara si baat par aawaz buland kar deta hai. Agar hum use samjhayen to woh bhi oonchi aawaz mein jawab deta hai aur kabhi kabhi gusse mein badtameezi bhi kar baithta hai. Baad mein maafi maang leta hai, lekin kuch din baad phir wahi rawayya dikhai deta hai. Main chahti hun ke us ke dil mein walidain ka ehtram dobara mazboot ho. Main kya karun?

Rehnumai Meri pyari behen!
Sab se pehle mayoos mat hoiye. Aap ne likha hai ke gusse ke baad aap ka beta maafi bhi maang leta hai. Yeh is baat ki nishani hai ke us ke dil mein ehtram abhi zinda hai, lekin gusse ke waqt woh apni zaban par qaboo nahin rakh pata. Is liye sirf us ki zaban ko nahin, balki us ke gusse aur jazbaat ko tarbiyat dene ki zarurat hai.
Yaad rakhiye, jab bachcha baar baar oonchi aawaz mein baat karta hai aur use roka na jaye to dheere dheere yahi us ka normal tareeqah ban jata hai.

Ek Misal Echo (goonj) wali jagah par jis lehje mein aawaz nikali jaye, wahi lehja wapas sunai deta hai. Agar narmi se bola jaye to narmi sunai deti hai, aur agar sakhti se bola jaye to sakhti hi laut kar aati hai.
Ghar ka mahaul bhi kuch aisa hi hota hai. Bachche aksar wahi lehja seekhte hain jo roz apne ghar mein sunte hain.

Allah Ta'ala farmate hain:
"Aur apne walidain se ihsan ka muamla karo... aur un se 'uff' tak na kaho aur un se izzat ke sath baat karo."
(Surah Al-Isra: 23)

Rasulullah ﷺ ne farmaya:
"Woh hum mein se nahin jo hamare chhoton par reham na kare aur hamare baron ka ehtram na kare."
(Sunan at-Tirmidhi)

Kya Karein? 1. Oonchi aawaz ka jawab oonchi aawaz se na dijiye: Sukoon se kahiye: "Beta, jab tum aahista baat karoge tab main tumhari baat zaroor sunungi." Is se bachcha seekhega ke narmi se baat karne par hi guftagu aage badhti hai.
2. Gusse ke baad zaroor baat kijiye: Jab woh pur-sukoon ho jaye to us se poochhiye: "Agar main tum se isi lehje mein baat karti to tumhein kaisa lagta?" Yeh sawal us ke andar soch paida karega.
3. Ghar ka ek adabi qanoon bana dijiye: Sab ke liye usool ho: "Hum ikhtilaf kar sakte hain, lekin badtameezi nahin karenge." Jab qanoon sab par barabar lagu hota hai to bachcha use aasani se qabool karta hai.
4. Achhe lehje ki tareef kijiye: Jab woh narmi se baat kare to foran kahiye: "Aaj tum ne bahut adab se baat ki, mujhe tum par fakhr mehsoos hua." Tareef achhe rawayye ko mazboot karti hai.
5. Walidain apna lehja bhi dekhein: Agar ghar mein miyaan biwi ek doosre se izzat aur narmi se baat karenge to bachcha bhi dheere dheere wahi zaban seekhega. Tarbiyat sirf alfaaz se nahin, misaal se hoti hai.
6. Walidain ke ehtram ke waqiat sunaiye: Kabhi Rasulullah ﷺ aur Sahabah-e-Kiram ke walidain ke sath husn-e-sulook ke waqiat sunaiye. Bachche kahaniyon se nasihat ke muqable mein zyada asar lete hain.

Meri pyari behen! Yaad rakhiye, adab ek din mein paida nahin hota. Har roz ka narm lehja, dua, achhi misaal aur musalsal tarbiyat mil kar bachche ke dil mein walidain ka ehtram mazboot karte hain. In sha Allah aaj ki aap ki hikmat kal us ke akhlaq ki pehchan banegi.

🌼 Aaj Ki Parenting Tip "Jis ghar mein alfaaz mein ehtram hota hai, us ghar ke bachchon ki zaban mein bhi adab aa jata hai."

Action Today Aaj apne bete ke sath 10 minutes baithiye aur mil kar ghar ka ek qanoon likhiye: "Hum gusse mein bhi oonchi aawaz se baat nahin karenge." Phir sab se pehle walidain khud is qanoon par amal karne ka iradah karein.

Ek Maa Ka Sawal
Mera 10 saal ka beta jab bhi koi ghalti karta hai to use tasleem nahin karta. Chahe hamare paas wazeh saboot bhi ho, phir bhi bahane banata hai, kabhi doosron par ilzam laga deta hai aur kabhi apni safai pesh karne lagta hai. Hum use baar baar samjhate hain ke ghalti maan lena bahaduri ki baat hai, lekin us ki aadat nahin badal rahi. Mujhe fikr hai ke yeh aadat us ki shakhsiyat ko mutasir na kar de. Main us ki islah kaise karun?

Rehnumai Meri pyari behen!
Sab se pehle yeh samajhiye ke har woh bachcha jo apni ghalti nahin maanta, zaroori nahin ke woh jhoota ya mutakabbir ho. Aksar bachcha is liye ghalti nahin maanta kyun ke use darr hota hai ke agar sach bol diya to daant padegi, saza milegi ya meri beizzati hogi. Is liye woh apni ghalti chhupane ki koshish karta hai.
Agar hum bachche ko yeh ehsas dila dein ke "Ghalti maan loge to hum tumhari madad karenge, sirf daantenge nahin" to dheere dheere us mein sach bolne ki himmat paida hone lagti hai.

Ek Misal Sochiye, agar doctor ke paas jane wala mareez apni bimari chhupa le to doctor us ka sahi ilaj nahin kar sakta. Ilaj ki pehli seedhi yahi hai ke mareez sach bataye.
Bilkul isi tarah, jab bachcha apni ghalti tasleem karta hai to us ki islah ka darwaza khul jata hai. Lekin jab woh ghalti chhupata hai to masla aur barhta chala jata hai.

Allah Ta'ala hamein Hazrat Adam علیہ السلام ka waqia sunate hain. Jab un se ghalti hui to unhon ne foran Allah Ta'ala se arz ki:

"Ae hamare Rabb! Hum ne apni jaanon par zulm kiya. Agar Tu hamein na bakhshe aur hum par reham na farmaye to hum nuqsan uthane walon mein se ho jayenge."
(Surah Al-A'raf: 23)

Is ke bar'aks, Iblees ne apni ghalti tasleem karne ke bajaye takabbur kiya aur Allah ki rehmat se mehroom ho gaya.

Rasulullah ﷺ ne farmaya:
"Har insaan ghalti karne wala hai, aur behtareen ghalti karne wale woh hain jo taubah karte hain."
(Sunan at-Tirmidhi)

Kya Karein? 1. Ghalti maan lene par us ki himmat badhaiye: Agar bachcha sach bol de to foran us ki tareef kijiye: "Mujhe tumhari ghalti se zyada tumhari sachchai pasand aayi." Is se woh samjhega ke sach bolna qadr ki baat hai.
2. Har ghalti ko jang na banaiye: Islah ka maqsad bachche ko sharminda karna nahin, balkeh behtar banana hai. Narmi ke sath samjhaiye ke ghalti har insaan se hoti hai.
3. Khud bhi apni ghalti maan kar misaal dijiye: Agar walidain se koi ghalti ho jaye to bachche ke saamne kahiye: "Beta, aaj meri ghalti thi. Mujhe maaf kar do." Bachcha wahi rawayya sab se zyada seekhta hai jo woh ghar mein dekhta hai.
4. Sochne wale sawal poochhiye: Us se kahiye: "Agar yahi ghalti tumhara dost karta to tum use kya mashwarah dete?" Aksar bachcha is sawal ka jawab dete hue apni ghalti khud samajh leta hai.
5. Ghalti aur bachche mein farq rakhiye: Yeh na kahiye: "Tum bahut bure ho." Balkeh kahiye: "Yeh kaam ghalat tha, lekin tum is se behtar bachche ho." Is se us ki self-respect bhi baqi rehti hai aur islah ka darwaza bhi khula rehta hai.
6. Sach bolne ka mahaul banaiye: Bachche ko yaqeen dila dijiye ke agar woh sach bolega to pehle us ki baat suni jayegi, phir faisla hoga. Jab ghar ka mahaul mehfooz hota hai to bachche jhoot aur bahane kam banate hain.

Meri pyari behen! Yaad rakhiye, jis bachche ko apni ghalti tasleem karna aa jaye, woh zindagi bhar seekhne aur behtar banne ka safar jari rakhta hai. Aaj agar aap us ke dil mein sachchai, tawazu aur himmat paida kar dein to In sha Allah kal woh apni kamzoriyon ko chhupane ke bajaye unhein dur karne ki koshish karega.

🌼 Aaj Ki Parenting Tip "Bachche ko sirf ghalti se na daraiye, balki sach bolne ka hausla dijiye."

Action Today Aaj apne bete se kisi purani chhoti ghalti ka zikr karke us se kahiye: "Agar tum sach bata doge to main pehle tumhari baat sunungi, phir mil kar is ka hal dhoondhenge." Is tarah us ke dil mein sach bolne ka aitimad paida kijiye.

Ek Maa Ka Sawal
Mera 11 saal ka beta namaz padhta to hai, lekin bahut yaad dilane ke baad. Agar hum na kahen to namaz muakhkhar kar deta hai ya bhool jata hai. Kabhi kehta hai, "Abhi padh leta hun," lekin phir khel ya mobile mein masroof ho jata hai. Main chahti hun ke woh sirf hamare kehne par nahin, balkeh khushi aur shauq se namaz padhe. Main use namaz ka paband kaise banaun?

Rehnumai Meri pyari behen!
Sab se pehle yeh samajhiye ke aksar bachche namaz se nafrat nahin karte, balkeh abhi tak un ke dil mein namaz ki muhabbat paida nahin hui hoti. Agar namaz sirf roz ka ek hukm ban jaye to bachcha use bojh samajhne lagta hai. Lekin jab usay ehsaas ho jaye ke namaz Allah se mulaqat, us se baat karne aur us ki qurbat hasil karne ka zariya hai, to dheere dheere us ka dil namaz ki taraf khinchne lagta hai.
Bachche sirf hamari baat nahin sunte, woh hamari zindagi bhi dekhte hain. Agar ghar mein azaan hote hi sab kaam ruk jayein aur walidain khushi ke sath namaz ke liye uth khade hon, to bachcha bhi namaz ko ghar ki sab se aham aadat samajhne lagta hai.

Ek Misal Jab koi bachcha cycle chalana seekhta hai to shuru mein usay baar baar yaad dilana, sambhalna aur hausla dena padta hai. Kuch din baad wahi bachcha baghair sahare ke cycle chalane lagta hai.
Namaz ki aadat bhi isi tarah banti hai. Pehle walidain ka sahara, muhabbat aur musalsal rehnumai chahiye hoti hai. Phir dheere dheere bachcha khud namaz ki taraf badhne lagta hai.

Allah Ta'ala farmate hain:

"Apne ghar walon ko namaz ka hukm do aur khud bhi us par sabit qadam raho."
(Surah Taha: 132)

Rasulullah ﷺ ne farmaya:
"Apni aulaad ko saat saal ki umar mein namaz ka hukm do..."
(Sunan Abi Dawud)

Is hadees se maloom hota hai ke namaz ki aadat ek din mein nahin, balkeh musalsal tarbiyat se paida hoti hai.

Kya Karein? 1. Namaz ka mahaul banaiye: Azaan hote hi TV, mobile aur doosri masroofiyat band kar dijiye. Bachcha mehsoos kare ke Allah ki pukar har kaam se zyada aham hai.
2. Sirf hukm na dijiye, sath lekar chaliye: Kabhi pyar se kahiye: "Beta, aaj hum dono mil kar namaz padhte hain." Agar walid bete ko masjid le jayein to us ke dil mein namaz ki muhabbat aur bhi mazboot hoti hai.
3. Namaz ki muhabbat paida kijiye: Roz chand minute Allah ki ne'maton, Jannat aur namaz ki fazilat ke bare mein baat kijiye. Bachcha pehle muhabbat se judta hai, phir aadat banata hai.
4. Pabandi ki tareef kijiye: Jab woh waqt par namaz padhe to foran us ki hosla afzai kijiye: "Mujhe tumhari yeh baat bahut pasand aayi ke tum ne azaan ke baad foran namaz padhi."
5. Routine ko namaz ke mutabiq banaiye: Khel, homework aur screen time ka schedule is tarah banaiye ke namaz us ki wajah se muakhkhar na ho.
6. Dua ko kabhi na chhodiye: Har roz Allah Ta'ala se dua maangiye ke woh aap ke bachche ke dil mein namaz ki muhabbat paida kar de. Hidayat aur ibadat ki taufeeq dene wali Zaat sirf Allah hi hai.

Meri pyari behen! Yaad rakhiye, hamara maqsad sirf itna nahin ke bachcha namaz padh le, balkeh yeh hai ke us ke dil mein yeh ehsaas paida ho jaye ke "Mera Rabb mujhe bula raha hai." Jab Allah ki muhabbat dil mein jagah bana leti hai to namaz bojh nahin rehti, balkeh sukoon ban jati hai, In sha Allah.

🌼 Aaj Ki Parenting Tip "Bachche ko namaz ka hukm dene se pehle us ke dil mein Allah ki muhabbat paida kijiye."

Action Today Aaj ek namaz apne bete ke sath padhiye. Namaz ke baad sirf do minute us se poochhiye: "Beta, namaz padh kar tumhein kaisa mehsoos hota hai?" Us ki baat tawajjuh se suniye aur us ke liye dil se dua kijiye.